"What makes marriage almost impossible at times is that both partners feel so self-justified in their expectations that are not being fulfilled. .... The cycle of self-justified self pity and anger seems unbreakable.
But what if one or both of the partners becomes overwhelmed with the truth of justification by faith alone, and with the particular truth that in Christ Jesus God credits me, for Christ's sake, as fulfilling all His expectations? What would happen if this doctrine so mastered our souls that we began to bend it from the vertical to the horizontal? What if we applied it to our marriages?
In our own imperfect efforts in this regard, there have been breakthroughs that seemed at times impossible. It is possible, for Christ's sake, to simply say, "I will no longer think merely in terms whether my expectations are met in practice. I will, for Christ's sake, regard my wife (or husband) the way God regards me--complete and accepted in Christ--and to be helped and blessed and nutured and cherished, even if in practice there are shortcomings." I know my wife treats me this way. And surely this is part of what Paul was calling for when he said that we should forgive "one another ...as God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32, ESV). I believe there is more healing for marriage in the doctrine of the imputation of Christ's righteousness than many of us have even begun to discover." -John Piper
4 comments:
Wow! Excellent thoughts and what a practical way to try and put one of the great truths of our faith into practice!
Thanks for sharing this Don.
Blessings,
Triston
Thanks Triston for stopping by.
Just a quick personal testimony on marriage:
I grew up in a little town in rural south Mississippi and I was a kid who was both a jock and a nerd so I didn't fit in anywhere. I was reading Tolkien and bench pressing 400 pounds so if someone wanted to make fun of me, they usually wouldn't do it to my face (even though I'd just walk away from it -- never did like confrontations). I lived in this town from 1976 when I turned 13 to when I graduated from college in 1986. During my time in high school I had ZERO dates, NEVER got invited to parties and frankly was very, very lonely. In my nightly prayers, I asked God to bring someone in my life that I could love and who would love me. I included that request in every prayer I prayed all through high school and into college. Even in college I didn't date. By this time I was definitely a social misfit (still am) and very, very shy. I decided during my Freshman year to change colleges to pursue a business degree somewhere better. All during this time I asked God to bring someone special into my life. At this other university, I got placed in classes that I should not have taken (didn't have the prerequesites for most of them -- another long story) and got into academic trouble. I had one semester to bring up the GPA and (in my best Maxwell Smart impersonation) missed it by that much. So I was kicked out. My Dad pulled some strings and managed to get me re-admitted to the first college (Mississippi State University) where at the time I figured would be bad for me and I imagined myself graduating, living alone for the rest of my life, never having someone to love. I never blamed God and figured it was His plan for me although I didn't like it.
How wrong I was.
Interesting is it that our plans for ourselves most often don't even come close to God's plan? Someone once wrote: "Want to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans for your life."
Anyway, during my junior year at Mississippi State (actually my SECOND junior year since I messed up at Florida State) I met via a mutal friend a girl by the name of Nancy Hancock. Although I was shy, somehow I managed to get the courage to ask her out on a date. It went so well, we went out again. Quite quickly, we became almost inseperable. After only 5 days, I asked her to go steady and gave her my high school class ring (yeah, I am old-fashioned). And within a couple of months I asked her to marry me (with my parent's support and I even asked, and received, her father's blessing -- did I mention old-fashioned?). I promised we wouldn't marry until I had graduated (she graduated in 1985 but since I was a year behind due to my FSU fiasco, I didn't graduate until 1986) and on June 14th, 1986 in Gulfport, Mississippi we were pronounced husband and wife in front of God, Christian brethren and the state of Mississippi. In our discussions, Nancy informed me that she grew up lonely and a social misfit just as I and started praying for God to bring someone in her life that she could love and would love her.
To this day, we give full honor, praise and glory to God for bringing us together, for making our marriage successful and for getting us through some tough times along the way. As far as the marriage itself has gone, God has made it so easy. Most all the things that are recognized for a successful marriage just come so easily for us. We get a laugh whenever we read one of those "10 things you can do to improve your marriage" because we are already doing them. We are truly blessed by God in this marriage. Looking back on my experience on this topic, I have been taught several things including, but not limited to: 1) patience -- God may not always say "yes" but he isn't automatically saying "no" -- many times it's "not just now, be patient", 2) God is in control, not me, 3) God can do things that we can't figure out how to do for ourselves.
Anyway, that is my not-so-brief (sorry for the length) testimony on marriage. Feel free to share it with others if you think it may help.
Thanks for sharing your testimony.
God is so gracious.
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